Yesterday I wrote about my discovery of the Dressing Your Truth program.
Today, I’m going to tell you a little bit about what I’ve learned through the program.
First, I’ll let you know that I’m a Type 1: a Bright and Animated woman. My nature is to be bubbly, optimistic, bright, animated, random, fun, and cute.
Yet I have lived for so many years degrading these tendencies in my mind, squashing my nature, and being subconsciously miserable because I wasn’t “living my truth.”
I was always an outstanding student. Somewhere in the middle school years, I decided (or was told) that cute, bubbly girls were stupid. More than anything, I’ve always wanted people to think I was smart. So, I set aside my Type 1 attributes, in an effort to be perceived as intelligent. Actually, I think I’ve always felt I had to “prove” to everyone that I was capable and smart because I thought I needed to compensate for—what I perceived as—my youthful looks, my short stature, and my less-than-authoritative voice.
In high school, I decided I wanted to be a television news journalist. I believe now that I chose that career because there was just enough “excitement” for my Type 1 nature but was “legitimized” by the seriousness of professional journalism. In my mind, I equated seriousness, scholarship, and success with Type 4.
And so with everything in me, I tried to live as a Type 4. Type 4s are structured, highly organized, direct, and precise perfectionists. I think because these are such opposite qualities of my Type 1 “fun” characteristics, I put them on a pedestal of sorts and think that in order to “get it together,” I need to be a Type 4—that somehow I’ll have arrived if and when I adopt and practice these Type 4 characteristics.
And so, this tug-of-war has characterized the last 20+ years of my life.
No wonder my twenties were miserable, as I shuffled through career choices. Television news was not a good fit for me because of the deadlines. Every day, I had to meet frequent—sometimes hourly—deadlines that proved way too suffocating and really, somewhat boring.
Motherhood has been another trying area for me. Again, I’ve brought my assumptions that a Type 4 mom is the “best” with clockwork-type schedules for chores and parenting. I have tried to pour myself into these molds. They work sometimes for awhile. But eventually, I just become bored with the monotony and predictability.
I’ve always enjoyed school, and now I know why: Change of classes, teachers, and classmates, just when the topic starts to bore; and freedom to design your day by choosing times and topics for classes. Freelance writing and editing is another great fit for me. I have a variety of topics on which to work, and I set my own schedule to meet a deadline. I can work when I want, dressed the way I want, anywhere I want.
I’m a Type 1 mommy, and now I’m working to re-embrace those God-given tendencies. I’m working to discover new ways to do “old” things, so that I’m happier and more productive. I’m trying to let go of my “I should/I need to” inner-dialogue that has for so long judged me and pointed out my “flaws.”
This program has brought so much into focus for me. Why I act the way I do. Why I’ve felt inferior and unfulfilled. Why I truly succeed at some things yet find others terribly difficult and unsatisfying.
And Dressing Your Truth has given me a way to express the inner on the outside. I am loving discovering the visual expression of my true nature. It’s spilling into every area of my life. Chris says that I’m smiling and laughing more.
If you feel like you’re missing something but can’t put your finger on it, I encourage you to check out this program. Once you’ve spent some time with Dressing Your Truth, come back here, tell me your Type, and how it has affected your life.
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