Yesterday’s sermon was a piercing one for me. My pastor said something along the lines of this:
I simply want to be focused on God himself—not on the destination of the journey on which he has me.
That has resonated in my soul for the last 24 hours or so. Because I, too, am on a journey. I feel completely and chronically unsettled. I’m not always sure what “great thing” God wants me to do. Mostly, I’m convinced I am to be “ordinary” and, honestly, that frustrates and bores me.
But it’s not about the end result, the final outcome, the next big thing, or penning the Great American Novel. Why?
Because I already possess the highest prize and the greatest of glory, as I identify with Christ. This journey is not about me, and it never has been. Yet I continue to obsess over the details of the trip, as if one ounce of my planning, my ideas, my energies, or my participation can affect the outcome.
What is the secret to this life? Well, I paraphrase from another pastor, to whom I listened recently:
The secret to this life is really easy. It’s a continual decrease and decline of self so that you become invisible and people only see Christ, not you.
My prayer is that as I decrease and Christ increases, I would more desire the things of God.
And so, I continue the journey, struggling against my sin to move forward in blind faith, while craving so badly an inch of control. With everything I have, I want to engage in cause and effect behavior.
Yet God saves me from myself, moment by moment.
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