What Dressing Your Truth Has Taught Me

By | June 14, 2011

Yesterday I wrote about my discovery of the Dressing Your Truth program.

Today, I’m going to tell you a little bit about what I’ve learned through the program.

First, I’ll let you know that I’m a Type 1: a Bright and Animated woman. My nature is to be bubbly, optimistic, bright, animated, random, fun, and cute.

Yet I have lived for so many years degrading these tendencies in my mind, squashing my nature, and being subconsciously miserable because I wasn’t “living my truth.”

I was always an outstanding student. Somewhere in the middle school years, I decided (or was told) that cute, bubbly girls were stupid. More than anything, I’ve always wanted people to think I was smart. So, I set aside my Type 1 attributes, in an effort to be perceived as intelligent. Actually, I think I’ve always felt I had to “prove” to everyone that I was capable and smart because I thought I needed to compensate for—what I perceived as—my youthful looks, my short stature, and my less-than-authoritative voice.

In high school, I decided I wanted to be a television news journalist. I believe now that I chose that career because there was just enough “excitement” for my Type 1 nature but was “legitimized” by the seriousness of professional journalism. In my mind, I equated seriousness, scholarship, and success with Type 4.

And so with everything in me, I tried to live as a Type 4. Type 4s are structured, highly organized, direct, and precise perfectionists. I think because these are such opposite qualities of my Type 1 “fun” characteristics, I put them on a pedestal of sorts and think that in order to “get it together,” I need to be a Type 4—that somehow I’ll have arrived if and when I adopt and practice these Type 4 characteristics.

And so, this tug-of-war has characterized the last 20+ years of my life.

No wonder my twenties were miserable, as I shuffled through career choices. Television news was not a good fit for me because of the deadlines. Every day, I had to meet frequent—sometimes hourly—deadlines that proved way too suffocating and really, somewhat boring.

Motherhood has been another trying area for me. Again, I’ve brought my assumptions that a Type 4 mom is the “best” with clockwork-type schedules for chores and parenting. I have tried to pour myself into these molds. They work sometimes for awhile. But eventually, I just become bored with the monotony and predictability.

I’ve always enjoyed school, and now I know why: Change of classes, teachers, and classmates, just when the topic starts to bore; and freedom to design your day by choosing times and topics for classes. Freelance writing and editing is another great fit for me. I have a variety of topics on which to work, and I set my own schedule to meet a deadline. I can work when I want, dressed the way I want, anywhere I want.

I’m a Type 1 mommy, and now I’m working to re-embrace those God-given tendencies. I’m working to discover new ways to do “old” things, so that I’m happier and more productive. I’m trying to let go of my “I should/I need to” inner-dialogue that has for so long judged me and pointed out my “flaws.”

This program has brought so much into focus for me. Why I act the way I do. Why I’ve felt inferior and unfulfilled. Why I truly succeed at some things yet find others terribly difficult and unsatisfying.

And Dressing Your Truth has given me a way to express the inner on the outside. I am loving discovering the visual expression of my true nature. It’s spilling into every area of my life. Chris says that I’m smiling and laughing more.

If you feel like you’re missing something but can’t put your finger on it, I encourage you to check out this program. Once you’ve spent some time with Dressing Your Truth, come back here, tell me your Type, and how it has affected your life.

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Mary Bernard is a Nashville-based writer and mother of three. She's worked in a variety of corporate and creative environments, but none is more comfortable than the dining room table in her own home. Mary loves to help moms discover God's unique call to look in their own houses for their priorities, passions, and provision.

8 thoughts on “What Dressing Your Truth Has Taught Me

  1. Danielle

    I just read the book and everything that you wrote about resonated with me. I grew up with a Type 4 dad who felt that we needed to be molded into Type 4 adults. I discovered I was a Type 1 and felt an almost instant relief. It’s been so awesome. Good luck on your journey.

  2. Jamie Kelley

    Wow this could be me telling this story. I just finished It’s just my Nature and Dressing your Truth last night. I could have sworn I was a Type 4! But whenever I thought of those colors they depressed me and it’s because I’ve been forcing myself to be a 4 (my secondary) when I’m really a 1! So refreshing. Now i have to retrain my brain to come out of old thoughts and habits and live true to myself!

    1. admin

      Hi, Jamie.

      So glad you could relate. 😉 Enjoy your DYT journey. I have learned so much!

  3. Sibby

    I, too, am a type 1. I grew up surrounded by 4’s, 3’s and one 2. I always felt the need to be a type 4, and I spent much of my life depressed and feeling inferior because I was so sensitive to the energy of those around me and I didn’t have people I could relate to. I hope I find ways to honor and live my truth and stop squelching my happy, giving, empathetic and colorful nature! <3

    1. admin

      Hi, Sibby. Thanks for visiting and commenting. So glad you are on your DYT journey. You will find the way to honor and live your truth. I’ve been doing this for more than a year, but I still feel that I learn something new every few weeks. It’s wonderful to move closer and closer to living my truth. Best wishes to you! 🙂

  4. Nicole Roth

    I loved reading this! It really resonated with me. I just began the DYT program a few weeks ago. I lived as a type 2 for two weeks and literally could barely get out of bed. I looked at it all again and saw that I am a Type 1!! Shocker! I feel now that the Lord is wanting me to continue to share these truths with women as they discover/re-discover who they truly are. It is so very exciting! I would love to learn more about your ministry to women and look forward to reading more. Blessings!

  5. Verena

    Hi Mary, I have just completed the ‘dressing your truth’ course and discovered that I am a type 1. I so enjoyed ready your story as I see so much of my own story in it. Especially hating the structured times and deadlines in my job as a bookkeeper. My husband and I have our own business which he manages and I do all the ‘paper work’. My problem has always been having to get to work early and somehow never managing it very well. He would complain about my tardiness and I would try really hard for a while, but always slipped back to get there late. Now i know why. Anyway we have solved the problem by hiring another person who arrives early to help and i then can get there in my time….phew…thank goodness. Best wishes as you continue to live your truth


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